How to Own a Room and Command Respect

How to Take Control of Your Prospect Meetings

“Be prepared” as advice sounds too obvious to be useful, but let's break down what “prepared” means. There's a reason why this meeting is happening. They want something from you. You want something from them.  Sit down for a second and write this out so you can see it in print. What specifically can the two of you get done that another pair of people cannot get done? Now, that answer may not be obvious, but there is an answer. Do some thinking to consider what unique opportunity is present because the two of you are working together.

Then, remember these points:

1. You don't have to do anything. Just because they invited you to a room, just because you accepted the invitation does not obligate you, or them, to anything, In fact, you don't know what you might do until you have this interaction. It's really important to get your head clear about this upfront. What do they want from you? What do you want from them? And no matter how that math shakes out, you don't have to do anything.
2. Walking into a room with confidence. Where does confidence come from? That's one of those things we all think is mystery or magic. But really, confidence is the outward expression of your preparation. You cannot fake or manufacture confidence. The better prepared you are, the more confident you will be in that space. So when you walk in the room, you're just playing out a scenario you've already prepared for.
3. Dress for the occasion. This is classic Professional 101, but sometimes we forget how important those initial moments are. You want to look like someone who's prepared to do business. When in doubt, overdress. If you look around and realize that you're overdressed, there are things you can do to tone down your look: take off your jacket, remove your tie, things like that. But if you're underdressed, it's really hard to turn up the professionalism. Your dress says that you have actively prepared for the occasion..
4. Shake hands, make eye contact, begin pleasantries. This is the human moment that you’re having, so it's really important that you show up like a human. Keep the pleasantries simple and brief. "Hello. How was the drive in? Did you see the game last night? How was your family?" You're just looking for a positive moment to share with the other person. If you need to, prepare short, brief, tight answers. When you get these micro moments right, it creates momentum in your conversation. When you get these micro moments wrong, you find the conversation derailing and going off track. So take the time to just settle yourself and prepare yourself for the best conversation possible.
5. Take control of the conversation.  There will be a point where the energy shifts and the real conversation begins. You must take control of it, but there is a wrong way and a right way to do so.
   1. The wrong way: too big or too small. There are two classic routes that people take in this moment, and both of them are bad.
      1. Peacocking.  Some people think that they need to walk into the room and tell the other person how phenomenal their experience is, how long they've been in business, how amazing they are. This is what male peacocks do in order to impress female peacocks, making themselves appear bigger than they are. I know you want to be impressive, but people can tell when you're peacocking. Please do not do this.
      2. Shrinking. For those of us who do not want to be seen as a peacock, we do the exact opposite. We shrink ourselves. We don't want to impose, to be confrontational, ruffle feathers or interrupt the status quo. So we shrink our skills, we shrink our ability, we shrink the power of what we're able to do. Don’t do this either!
   2. The right way: have a game plan. So let's talk about what that game plan should look like. What's a more appropriate way of having a high level conversation without offending everybody in the room? Here's what you need to emphasize:
      1. Begin the conversation with the research you've already done. "Hey, I've been doing some research about this situation, and here's what I understand." Then you should stop and confirm. "Do I have that right? Do I understand that correctly? Is this really who you are? Are these the things that are most important to you? Is this the goal you're trying to get done? Can we better understand that together?"
      2. Priority. What's most important? Which element of what we just discussed is the most important thing you were trying to get done in the short term? 
      3. What do you need from me?  How can I make this happen for you? What do you expect me to do? What expertise do you expect that I bring?
      4. What does your organization provide to make that happen? What are you going to provide so that I can do what needs to be done? This is that conversation around salary, compensation, structure, team, vacation days, all that money stuff that we want to talk about, that's where that finally lands. But notice we didn't get to anything about money until we better understood what was at stake..